Had another smoking dream. This time, I had a packet of 20 and had smoked 2 of them and again I felt so disappointed with myself that I'd have to start all over again and would also have to put £1 up on my JustGiving donation page, which I really didn't want to have to do as this would just show me as a failure. Again, this dream felt very real and I was so glad to wake up to discover it was only a dream.
What I'm taking from these dreams is the recurring feeling of disappointment of failure in my want to stay smoke free. I'm glad it's only happening in my dreams. To me, this is a sign of me lapsing in a way, but in a safe way where it's not actually harming me, but spurring me on to keep up the good work.
Have been out today to run a couple of errands and just to be on the safe side, I made sure I was chewing some gum. However, I didn't have any cravings. I was hoping that when I walked past some teenagers smoking, that I would not like the smell anymore, but alas, it didn't bother me. I do hope I begin to dislike the smell. I reckon that's when I know I've reached the point of no return.
To top it all. I actually had to go and meet someone about some work, and I met him in a pub, again, no cravings, was very pleased with myself. Don't know if having gum helped me or not to be honest. Also, it wasn't excessively smoky in there as I stayed away from that end, but there were people smoking in the vicinity and I was so happy that no cravings reared their ugly head!
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3 comments:
i'm very proud of you
Thats so funny, cuz I am now a non-smoker as of 15 days ago too. I have dreams just like yours. I wake up so mad at myself and then realize I was dreaming. ha ha, well good luck and I am very happy for you! Keep it up!
And to you too and how mad is that, the similar dreams...was really cool to hear that. Hope all is still going well for you. I will be posting again in a couple of weeks...to announce my 1 year :o)
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